what to text a girl day after date
There'due south cypher quite like nailing the showtime date. The conversation was electrical, all of your jokes were funny, and both of you knew you wanted to see each other naked. Basically, there was going to be a second engagement, and y'all both knew information technology. Until yous ruined it with text letters.
There's nothing like coming abode from an epic date and and then staring at your phone wondering what the hell you're supposed to do next. Do you text? Exercise you not text? What do you say? How long do you wait before you lot say it? What if they have their read receipts turned on, and they read information technology but don't respond immediately, and you spend the side by side 3 hours and 45 minutes sending screenshots of your chat to your friends so they can help yous understand exactly how you blew it in only then many words?
Texting is tough. There's no accounting for tone or timing. It's a delicate dance, especially when y'all're messaging someone you lot just met, and you actually care whether or non yous see them once again. You lot can completely seal the deal with a text, or you tin blow things upward entirely. So to help you achieve the former, we reached out to Tripp Kramer, host of the podcast How to Talk to Girls.
When should I text after the first date?
Don't text every bit shortly as yous leave the appointment—but don't wait too long, either.
While you may want to text your appointment immediately and say something similar "Get home condom," Kramer believes it's better to let a piddling fleck of time laissez passer. "Leave some mystery," he says. "...Information technology's skillful to let y'all and her both reflect on the appointment, and then follow upwards inside 2-3 days to meet upwards once again."
"Within" is the key word here—you might be pushing information technology if you expect until the end of day three.
What should I say when I text them?
Choice up the chat where you left off on your date.
When yous're ready to set up some other date, "Text him or her and comment on something you guys talked about on the engagement, or an inside joke you lot had from your time together," Kramer says. "This gets the chat flowing."
Simply remember: You don't want to autumn into the habit of texting this new person also often. You're non looking to become pen pals—you lot want to actually date. So the less you get out on the phone, the better.
Programme your side by side date as before long as possible.
If y'all're all text and no activity, they're going to get bored, or call back y'all're not interested. If you want to actually see this person over again, brand plans to, well, see them again!
"After 3-iv text letters back and along, invite her out to do something else," Kramer says. But he warns: "Brand sure information technology's different than whatsoever y'all did the commencement time." If your first engagement was dinner, and so exercise an activity. If your offset date was drinks, and so possibly go out to dinner.
"You lot want multifariousness in the beginning of dating to keep things interesting," he says.
Keep your clothes on.
Unless your first engagement involved sex—and no judgment if and then, hope you had fun!—it sets a bad precedent to accept it to sexting as well chop-chop.
"Don't turn a text conversation sexual unless you guys accept been having sex," Kramer says. "You run a huge take a chance talking sexually to a woman you lot haven't been intimate with, because yous two haven't actually crossed that purlieus yet."
If your date starts to take things to a sexual place, Kramer recommends following their lead, only remember to proceed it mellow. Yous want to spend time with this person in real life, non have a sexual pen pal. "It's not about having a sexting convo—rather, information technology's nigh actually meeting up with her."
We too asked real people what they think about texting after the beginning engagement.
Hither'south what they had to say.
"If I desire to see y'all again and I don't hear from yous for two-three days, I'd think you were playing games with me."
"I admit that when I was younger I loved the thought of the chase. If I was really liking a guy and he didn't text me back immediately after the engagement, it would absolutely build anticipation and would make me want to see him more. Information technology's all part of that 'game.' But now that I'm in my 30s I pretty much know right away whether or not I want to see you again. If I desire to see y'all again and I don't hear from you for 2-3 days, I'd call back you were playing games with me, and I'yard not 24 anymore." —Elizabeth, 33
"If you like someone, text them that you had fun."
"Don't be afraid to text beginning. Yous don't desire to exist super thirsty, but if you like someone, text them that you had fun and want to see them once again. All this 'waiting for them to text' stuff just winds up with two people being bellyaching the other person didn't text them." —Andrea, 25.
"You lot don't have to wait."
"You don't have to wait the allotted 2-3 days; that feels long especially if it's clear we both actually like each other." —Sharon, 28
"If you like the person, why are you playing games with them?"
"I always text as soon every bit I get abode if the appointment was fun. If y'all like the person, why are y'all playing games with them? Let them know you had fun. If they similar you, they'll want to hang out again." —Justin, 27
"No i is so decorated they can't answer a text."
"If someone is actually into y'all, they're going to bulletin you correct back. They'll be correct by their phone. No i is so busy they tin't reply a text." —Becks, 23.
"Don't mail service ambiguous stuff on social media."
"If you lot're trying to date someone, don't post cryptic stuff on social media and not message them back. It makes you look kind of desperate, in my honest stance. It doesn't convey that you're decorated, it conveys that you're someone who's insecure and plays games. Adults don't practice that. You never know if someone is looking you up on socials, but assume that they are." —Adam, 28.
"It's prissy to know you were memorable."
"Send something specific that they'll express joy about—something that can exist an within matter. Possibly you both are into the same show and you lot could transport a joke from the show. Maybe you talked virtually something specific that you lot could mention. Whatsoever information technology is, it's squeamish to know you were memorable." —Jules, 29.
"Keep the conversation going by request thoughtful questions."
"I'd stay away from anything lame like, 'Hey,' 'What'southward upwards?,' 'WYD?' [etc.] because and then they might not realize you're actually trying to have a conversation. Go on the conversation going by asking thoughtful questions." —Michael, 32.
"Y'all don't desire to be messaging back and forth for weeks."
"Ask [them] out once more as soon every bit possible. You don't want to be messaging back and forth for weeks on end. That winds up going nowhere." —Maxine, 30.
"Three days tops."
"I'd say three days tops earlier you inquire for another date. You want to hookup [or date], not conversation to your pen pal." —Lily, 28.
"If you don't want to see me once more, then don't text me at all."
"I cannot stand up when I have a great engagement with [someone] then [they] merely proceed to text me [their] random stream of consciousness. Do you desire to see each other again or not? If I'm texting you back, and so I'll likely say yes. And if yous don't want to encounter me again, then don't text me at all, because information technology'due south confusing," —Leah, 27
"Before getting sexual, test the waters out starting time."
"If the conversation naturally gets sexy and I'm into it, I'll let you know. Before getting sexual, examination the waters out outset. You could send something like, 'I've been thinking almost you all mean solar day,' and run into what the response is. If they say, 'Oh yep? What were you thinking about?' [or something similar], you could say, 'I've been thinking virtually kissing you.' That's kind of sexy, but non likewise ambitious." —Brooke, xxx.
"Nosotros want to get to know you with all of our clothes on start."
"Listen, women dear sex equally much as men do. That'due south not news. Only if we're just starting to date, we want to become to know you with all of our apparel on first. Non proverb that to be a prude, we can totally have sex, and hopefully it will be crawly. Simply if all yous're talking to me about, in the showtime, is getting me naked, and then yous likely are having that same conversation with a lot of other women, too. In my stance." —Grace, 31
"It'due south 2021. Be straightforward."
"If the conversation naturally turns to sexual practice, I always suggest request if they're down for sexting. It'south 2021. Be straightforward. If it's getting muddied merely say, 'Are you OK with sexting?' If [this person] is into it, y'all'll know. I appreciate honesty." —Tim, 29.
"I'd like to know right away what the deal is."
"I'm a raunchy sexter myself so if he isn't into that, I don't remember we're a good match. I'd like to know right away what the bargain is." —Anna, xxx.
"Don't get too in-depth nearly the futurity."
"You lot should definitely exist thoughtful, just don't become as well in-depth nigh the future before a 2d or third date. Don't make jokes about getting married or our futurity kids. That is a large red flag." —Agata, 28.
"You can ever suggest a virtual appointment."
"You can always suggest a virtual engagement, if your schedules are crazy or, you know, there's a pandemic happening. If you're feeling someone's free energy and are genuinely interested in them, tell them y'all're committed to making the date happen still y'all can." —Henri, 27.
"It's okay to be a piffling vulnerable."
"If you're talking and things feel natural, it's okay to exist a little vulnerable. You lot shouldn't exist dropping the L-discussion subsequently one date, but telling someone yous really similar them or you that y'all run across a future with them shows that you're serious. If it puts them off, they probably weren't that serious about it anyway. I like knowing what I'm getting into. I'm not twelve." —Heidi, 25.
"Don't waste material my time."
"Be enthusiastic if you want to hang out over again and straightforward if you don't. In that location is zero I hate more than than someone messaging me nonstop for weeks just to find out that they aren't interested in seeing me once again. Don't waste product my time." —Andy, 30.
"Don't start sending 'good morning' texts after a kickoff engagement."
"My large tip? Don't kickoff sending 'practiced forenoon' texts after a first date. Information technology'southward likewise presently for that relationship-y nonsense!" —Cristina, 31.
Finally, no dick pics, delight.
"Unless specifically asked." —Tara, 30
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Source: https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a25605953/text-after-a-first-date/
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